The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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