it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
