I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
