What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
