Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
