hotel room ftw
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
