Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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