Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
