ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
