my phone needs a breathalizer
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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