And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
