i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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