You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Randomize
