He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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