I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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