tell your sister to shave her snatch
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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