I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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