was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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