Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
If I die, sorry about rent.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
