I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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