I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize