You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize