This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
