living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
