I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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