she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
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you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
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Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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