Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
