May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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