i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
