I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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