yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
