We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
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