im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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