Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
