the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
