Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
