I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
