He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
