I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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