A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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