Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
