i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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