just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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