Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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