im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
