so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize