I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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