Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
