my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
