I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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