I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
