i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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