anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
