i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
