idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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