I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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