Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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