Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
