Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
